My Personal Experiences With Mental Health
Mental health does not define you. Only YOU get to decide what defines you.
As I’m sure like many other 90’s babies, I have been passionate about fashion & beauty since I first discovered that iconic drugstore brand purple eyeshadow, the infamous Great Lash mascara, and of course, Sugar Lip tank tops and Soffe shorts. I was in middle school keeping up with the latest trends. Custom Converse & Nike sneakers. Juicy Couture track suits. Matching sequin belts & purses. You name it, I followed it. There has just always been something about staying on top of the newest fashion trends that made me feel confident (even if I looked ridiculous).
Even though fashion and makeup have always been an expressive outlet for me, my life hasn't always been as simple as putting on a new pair of jeans and feeling brand new again. I have struggled with my mental health for most of my life, and my struggles only intensified with age. I can still remember my first panic attack (probably around age 10) and the complete and utter sense of bewilderment and discomfort. I can remember being known as the “lazy” or “80%” kid in school because I simply could not focus like the other students. I never realized I was working 10x harder and longer than my friends just to finish the same assignment. Now fast forward to my freshman year of college. This is when my (seemingly small) issues made sense; I was diagnosed with ADD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder and finally had answers to so many questions.
In the following years, I faced what seemed like endless amounts of obstacles and I wasn’t exactly sure I could overcome them all. Little did I know - I would. And I would kick ass doing so. Transferring schools as a college freshman, losing a semester due to uncontrollable anxiety, focusing on school while battling “undiagnosable” health problems, and experiencing toxic relationships and environments are just a few of those obstacles. Through these hardships, not only did I become more independent than ever before, but I was able to realize that I am capable doing of anything I put my mind to. Going from being a straight C student in high school to making Dean’s List 6 out of 8 semesters in college is just one example.
My struggles forced me to learn how to manage my anxiety and the subsequent challenges that come with it. I went from being so anxious that I couldn’t get out of bed for what was sometimes 24 hours, making myself throw up, and isolating myself from everyone around me to being able to recognize an anxiety “red flag”, psychologically readjust my mind and body, push through and carry on with my day as planned. I learned how to identify triggers and how and when to cut them out of my life. Most importantly, I finally was able to understand that my mental health does not define me nor does it restrict me from living my life.
Mental health should never be something to be embarrassed about. Everyone deals with problems that no one else knows about. Although sometimes it may feel like you’re fighting this battle alone, try to remind yourself that you are never alone. You’d be surprised to know how many people around you know exactly what you’re feeling because they feel it too.
